160GB Pileup on Information Super-Highway, Thousands Lost

It’s a very strange thing when all of a sudden you don't exist. Funny to think that yesterday I had such purpose, such drive, a “to-do” list that took up three pages of a college ruled ‘5-Star’ notebook. And now? Now I'm drowning in the magnificent vastness of nothing. Is it possible to feel claustrophobic in very open spaces too? I digress…

My computer was stolen. Let me specify: my work computer was stolen – while personal computer pillage would definitely be tragic (think of all the music and photos one accumulates), the fact that it's my work computer that is gone takes the term 'abysmally fatal' to an entirely different level. I’d had that computer for the three years I’ve worked for this company and every iota of information relating to my life and work during that time was in that machine. Everything. Those of you who have corporate-issued computers, you can relate to this. For those of you who may not understand what this means, let me try to explain the magnitude: every email I’ve written and received for three years; every Word, PowerPoint, Excel, Access, JMP, FrontPage, Adobe, etc document I’ve created or saved; resumes, past performance reviews, all archived materials/projects from the three other roles I’ve had with this company, not to mention everything I’ve been working on for this new job since I took the position this past May. There’s basically no proof that I exist here.

Oh, and my two 3-day ACL Festival tickets (which is now sold out) were clipped inside my day planner which was also inside my computer bag.

Fuuuuuuuck.

So after I ran the gamut of emotions (stopping the longest at anger and then deep, gasping-for-air sadness) I realized that things could definitely still be worse. I could have gotten my car stolen too (work bag was in car, car broken into, bag stolen), which would have put me in a different kind of tailspin entirely. What’s funny and ironic about this situation is that I recently shelled out the cash to buy a 500GB hard drive to back up everything on my computer at home… that until today was still pristine inside its original packaging. You’d better believe ripping that shit off and setting it up became priority #1 after getting home from being violated (robbed).

Anyway, let my experience be a lesson to you all. Just in case you hadn’t already started making a list, here are some things you should take away with you:
- never leave important shit in your car
- if your life is on a computer, back it up somewhere for God’s sake
- if your shit does get stolen, immediately tell your closest friends so they know to come peel your sobbing mess of a self off the kitchen floor
- learn karate and all manner of other ass-whipping skills necessary to take out scum who stole your shit if you ever meet him/her in a dark alley (said friends might try to talk you out if this, OR you can carpool)

Anyway, things are starting to look better now. I got another computer ordered, and some colleagues at work had some emails saved with important stuff in them so they can send it back to me. Now it’s just a matter of assessing the wreckage and attempting to crawl out from underneath this massive disaster of a pileup. Oh, and buy another 500GB hard drive.