160GB Pileup on Information Super-Highway, Thousands Lost

It’s a very strange thing when all of a sudden you don't exist. Funny to think that yesterday I had such purpose, such drive, a “to-do” list that took up three pages of a college ruled ‘5-Star’ notebook. And now? Now I'm drowning in the magnificent vastness of nothing. Is it possible to feel claustrophobic in very open spaces too? I digress…

My computer was stolen. Let me specify: my work computer was stolen – while personal computer pillage would definitely be tragic (think of all the music and photos one accumulates), the fact that it's my work computer that is gone takes the term 'abysmally fatal' to an entirely different level. I’d had that computer for the three years I’ve worked for this company and every iota of information relating to my life and work during that time was in that machine. Everything. Those of you who have corporate-issued computers, you can relate to this. For those of you who may not understand what this means, let me try to explain the magnitude: every email I’ve written and received for three years; every Word, PowerPoint, Excel, Access, JMP, FrontPage, Adobe, etc document I’ve created or saved; resumes, past performance reviews, all archived materials/projects from the three other roles I’ve had with this company, not to mention everything I’ve been working on for this new job since I took the position this past May. There’s basically no proof that I exist here.

Oh, and my two 3-day ACL Festival tickets (which is now sold out) were clipped inside my day planner which was also inside my computer bag.

Fuuuuuuuck.

So after I ran the gamut of emotions (stopping the longest at anger and then deep, gasping-for-air sadness) I realized that things could definitely still be worse. I could have gotten my car stolen too (work bag was in car, car broken into, bag stolen), which would have put me in a different kind of tailspin entirely. What’s funny and ironic about this situation is that I recently shelled out the cash to buy a 500GB hard drive to back up everything on my computer at home… that until today was still pristine inside its original packaging. You’d better believe ripping that shit off and setting it up became priority #1 after getting home from being violated (robbed).

Anyway, let my experience be a lesson to you all. Just in case you hadn’t already started making a list, here are some things you should take away with you:
- never leave important shit in your car
- if your life is on a computer, back it up somewhere for God’s sake
- if your shit does get stolen, immediately tell your closest friends so they know to come peel your sobbing mess of a self off the kitchen floor
- learn karate and all manner of other ass-whipping skills necessary to take out scum who stole your shit if you ever meet him/her in a dark alley (said friends might try to talk you out if this, OR you can carpool)

Anyway, things are starting to look better now. I got another computer ordered, and some colleagues at work had some emails saved with important stuff in them so they can send it back to me. Now it’s just a matter of assessing the wreckage and attempting to crawl out from underneath this massive disaster of a pileup. Oh, and buy another 500GB hard drive.

Life and Music

I saw this article a long time ago and thought it was an amazing representation of what music can be. I love music, and this part of the article captures what it is for me. Thought it was great:

"... these are the songs the whole world sings, and will sing forever, songs which define the very point of being alive, which fill our souls with hope, escape, friendship, love, laughter, sex, beauty, oblivion and the timeless freedom of the rock 'n' roll dream itself. These could be the best days of our lives.

And they were. And they still are."

Never Fire Crazy

Don’t get involved in the first place. I have recently adopted this creed, and highly suggest you do the same. Without knowing it at the time, it all started just over a year ago after I became newly single. This followed the end of a failed 4+ year relationship after which I was launched full swing back into the dating scene I dreaded and have never been good at. This creed came to me after realizing that it was the theme to my dating life.

So let me give you some back-story. My best friend calls me a flirt and a tease and I frustrate the hell out of her with my relationships. I am not purposefully being a tease, I’m just genuinely excited that somebody is being nice, so I talk to them and try to be friends. This is what happens when you go your entire childhood as the fat, ugly kid who is mercilessly made fun of to all of a sudden (over one summer between 7th and 8th grades) growing 5 inches, getting contacts, and getting braces off. I have the mentality of the fat ugly kid who just wants to be liked by people but the moderately good looks of one who wouldn’t necessarily need to humor some of the people who come knocking. No swan story here, but the ugly duckling did at least achieve a decent fare - you know what I mean?

All that being said, I have had the unfortunate luck of finding men in my life to take to break-ups as though I whispered my goodbye into an on-blowing wind tunnel: they pretend that nothing was said. This results in some very awkward phone calls a couple days later when I answer to hear a hearty, “hey, just wanted to see what was going on!” I inevitably talk to them, because I don’t want them to feel bad, and this leads into a saga of confusion and sometimes even another break-up from the break-up relationship because we are spending entirely too much time talking and a friendship doesn’t work when one party gets really mad if I say I’m going on a date with somebody else.

Anyway, I heard the term on the best show ever, Arrested Development (I highly recommend you check it out ASAP if you’ve not seen it - there are 3 seasons, buy them all on DVD), and it just made sense. Never fire crazy. They’ll stalk.