There are two specific things that make me giggle that definitely should not make me giggle. Things that, while I’m giggling, I’m secretly trying to figure out how I can dodge the lightning bolts that God is surely charging up to send hurtling to earth to smite me.
For example, try adding the word “the” in front of almost every horrible disease or ailment out there. Get really creative here – I’m not talking about things that already contain “the” in the title, like “the flu.” Think big here. Think ailments that normally make you uncomfortable talking about… try this one on for size: the aids. Or even better: the HIV (pronounced phonetically and not alphabetically). The gout. The arthritis…. There are so many, and they are even funnier when you add them into a sentence – try it. You’ll like it, I promise.
The other thing is swearing. I’m actually hesitant to admit this, and I do feel it’s necessary to admit that I know I should be ashamed of my sailor-esque mouth, but, honestly, I have so completely integrated cursing into my every day vernacular and its damn near impossible to make a point or tell a joke without it. (See, I was being clever right there with that “damn”). Unless it is being hurled at me in anger or hatred, a well placed curse word always makes me giggle. For hours of pure entertainment, though, combining my two awful habits is perhaps the best option. All anybody has to do to totally incapacitate me with laughter is utter “son of the bitch” in a slightly Borat-ish accent and tone.
Try using these fun new verbal judo tools in your everyday conversation to liven up the mood. Just make sure you dodge the lightning bolts.
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